Joe Biden, Apocalyptic Visionary or Malfunctioning Android?

The Vice President of the United States of America and the second most powerful man on the planet is at it again.

Power

Speaking in Joplin, Missouri, Biden, affectionately known as "Ole Salt 'n Peppa," or "Teeth," reassured a local high school that the 161,000 people who died there in a freak tornado didn't die in vain.

Corrupts

Fact-checkers wasted no time. Joplin's tornado victims numbered 161, not the number mentioned by Teeth. Was Salt 'n Peppa in a visionary trance? Like some kind of 161k Rapture? Or were his AI circuits simply malfunctioning?

Absolutely

Apocalyptic harbinger of the Eschaton or a dud android?

You, the reader, be the judge,

LSP

Obama World Peace Solution

In a desperate bid to bring about an end to war and quell turbulent unrest in its own backyard, America's top-level Messiah Class Obama 'droid launched a bold new peace initiative in an ornate Kansas theater.

Teeth 3000

Speaking to a disappointingly small crowd of 1,500 admirers, the Messiah 'droid urged radical non-aggression. "Stop being mad all the time. Stop, stop, stop just hatin’ all the time," said the deep-thinking hi-tech replicant to raucous cheering and applause.

Observers of the U.S. government's attempt to cut costs and improve efficiency by deploying robot technology are divided. Some believe that there is a clear AI hierarchy, with the Messiah 'droid leading lesser robots, such as the Teeth 3000, the Witch and Woodentop. 

The Witch

Others aren't so sure, with one pundit stating, "Barack=Hillary=Kerry in leadership, charisma, integrity and capability to be Leader of the Free World."

Whatever the case, Republicans have voted to sue the Messiah 'droid for abusing its DAARPA designated Executive Power. It appears that the Obama peace initiative has arrived dead in the water, as doomed as Woodentop's disastrous Gaza ceasefire proposal and the Witch's defense of the Hamas terror group.

Woodentop

Is there an AI hierarchy? Or are all the 'droids equally malfunctioning?

LSP